1
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My name's Larry Bailey. I have an
interview scheduled with Mr. Mickey.

2
00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:50,500
Sure, what time?

3
00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:54,000
Ten, but I ran into some car trouble.

4
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:55,880
Oh, good way to start.

5
00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:58,520
Oh, come on.

6
00:00:58,980 --> 00:01:02,320
It's only a museum. How stressed could
he be? He's in the back. I'll take you

7
00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:03,320
see him.

8
00:01:16,350 --> 00:01:17,350
Larry.

9
00:01:25,250 --> 00:01:29,130
It says in your resume you have no
experience in police or surveillance

10
00:01:29,410 --> 00:01:31,430
What makes you qualified for the job?

11
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I don't know. It's a security guard
position at night in a museum.

12
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But maybe I'd be qualified.

13
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Ah, so you figured it's just a museum.

14
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Late at night, anybody can do it. Any
old schmeckle can handle this kind of

15
00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:50,060
huh? Let me tell you something.

16
00:01:55,220 --> 00:01:58,680
I don't even need a security guard at
night until recently when the kid's

17
00:01:58,680 --> 00:01:59,940
breaking in and causing havoc.

18
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Now I got the media and the authorities
all over the place.

19
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I don't need this.

20
00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,080
Yeah, I saw something on the news. Did
they steal anything?

21
00:02:06,700 --> 00:02:07,700
Larry.

22
00:02:12,180 --> 00:02:16,090
They're having sex with my price. with
artifacts and antiques.

23
00:02:16,550 --> 00:02:17,550
Having sex?

24
00:02:17,810 --> 00:02:19,290
Who does stuff like that?

25
00:02:19,550 --> 00:02:20,690
Lunatics. It's crazy.

26
00:02:21,030 --> 00:02:24,750
Look, it's hard enough running a place
like this without worrying about the

27
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authorities coming down for running a
sex club or a brothel.

28
00:02:28,350 --> 00:02:29,490
You're right. That's insane.

29
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This one guy, he says he's a boyfriend
to some girl. He claims that one of my

30
00:02:34,050 --> 00:02:35,750
exhibits had sex with his girlfriend.

31
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Probably did a better job than he could
do. And now he wants to take us to court

32
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for emotional distress.

33
00:02:40,670 --> 00:02:42,030
I don't need this.

34
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You don't. You work hard.

35
00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:46,960
Maybe these kids are on drugs.

36
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,480
Maybe. I haven't even thought about
that.

37
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:55,740
Look, eh, you seem like a nice kid. Let
me show you the exhibit you'll be

38
00:02:55,740 --> 00:02:56,740
guarding, all right?

39
00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:08,780
Welcome to the Erotic Heritage

40
00:03:08,780 --> 00:03:09,780
Museum.

41
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:11,660
Then the girls give this speech.

42
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They have to clear their throats first.

43
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And they go.

44
00:03:16,420 --> 00:03:21,260
We have exhibits here from all around
the world. The Erotic Heritage Museum is

45
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dedicated to the preservation of great
erotic pieces of art and instructional

46
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fact and historical fact, something most
museums seem to ignore.

47
00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:38,560
We showcase and educate the masses here
on the significance of erotic fine art

48
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and film.

49
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This is kind of a lump in the throat,
don't it?

50
00:03:42,900 --> 00:03:44,700
Yeah. Let me show you some more. Come
on.

51
00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:06,980
There's the beautiful paintings of
erotic art. This is Charles Darwin and

52
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:10,900
discussions on the history of sex,
genitalia. It's right there.

53
00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:16,860
about the struggle for existence, all
about how the, you know, whatever

54
00:04:16,860 --> 00:04:18,560
had to go through natural selection.

55
00:04:18,820 --> 00:04:23,880
Here we have some adult actresses, some
models, some dancers, all kinds of

56
00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:26,600
performers. Over here we show animal
effects, the Beatles.

57
00:04:26,860 --> 00:04:30,700
Look at that, see that, the ladybugs,
the Beatles over there, right? Not the

58
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band from England, the ones that live in
dirt.

59
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:36,120
Here we have some dicks, lots and lots
of dicks. Different celebrities, porn

60
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:37,240
stars, dicks, dicks, dicks.

61
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:41,860
White, black, tall, short, little, big,
thick. You name it. Lots and lots and

62
00:04:41,860 --> 00:04:42,860
lots of dicks.

63
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:46,480
Come on.

64
00:04:47,740 --> 00:04:53,040
Now, we had a lady tour guide who was
caught sucking dick. Some of the guards.

65
00:04:53,220 --> 00:04:56,060
She tried to deny it and said, not me.

66
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Wasn't me. And then we got caught. The
sperm dripped down her mouth. So we had

67
00:05:00,980 --> 00:05:01,679
to punish her.

68
00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:02,680
That's her right there.

69
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:06,340
This is actually our equipment known as
SNL.

70
00:05:06,730 --> 00:05:11,850
Yeah, but we teach courses at S andM, B
andB, CBS, T

71
00:05:12,090 --> 00:05:14,090
Anything with three letters, we teach
them.

72
00:05:14,350 --> 00:05:15,350
Here you have her.

73
00:05:16,110 --> 00:05:17,490
Looks kind of interesting, huh?

74
00:05:17,890 --> 00:05:21,030
Let's see right there. It goes right to
the pussy there.

75
00:05:21,490 --> 00:05:22,490
Back and forth.

76
00:05:23,610 --> 00:05:24,610
Can you do that?

77
00:05:25,910 --> 00:05:26,910
Good job.

78
00:05:27,010 --> 00:05:28,790
Here we have the famous porn stars.

79
00:05:29,110 --> 00:05:30,290
Here we have Julie Linmar.

80
00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:31,590
Here we have Kobe Ty.

81
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:33,290
Thank God!

82
00:05:33,690 --> 00:05:35,230
Devin. Christy Canyon.

83
00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:36,840
Savannah.

84
00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:38,160
Tina Leone.

85
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,200
Julianne.

86
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,860
Don't know her name. I forgot. I think I
had sex with her. Not the dummy.

87
00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:45,360
The actual girl.

88
00:05:50,580 --> 00:05:52,640
You have just been behind the green
door.

89
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:55,120
How'd you like the tour?

90
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:57,320
It was great. Very educational.

91
00:05:57,660 --> 00:05:58,399
20 bucks.

92
00:05:58,400 --> 00:05:59,440
Well, just kidding.

93
00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:03,400
Listen, we're open until 10 o 'clock
every night, seven days a week.

94
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:05,660
You could start tonight if you want.
Really?

95
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:06,960
Oh, that's great.

96
00:06:07,220 --> 00:06:09,540
I don't know what it is. Something about
your face.

97
00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:10,880
You just need to be honest.

98
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,680
You're looking like a nice kid, you
know?

99
00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:14,880
You're not going to be fucking around on
the job.

100
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:16,240
No, not at all.

101
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:21,440
Speaking of job, what does it entail?

102
00:06:21,820 --> 00:06:25,320
Well, you have to make sure all the
lights are off at night, make sure all

103
00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,900
alarms are on, and the kids, you know?

104
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:31,260
I don't want these freakos coming here
and getting their freak on.

105
00:06:31,620 --> 00:06:36,320
So basically you... are being hired to
stop the fucking.

106
00:06:37,820 --> 00:06:39,280
Got it. No fucking.

107
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:43,700
There will be no fucking on my watch.
You can count on me, Mr. McGee. I trust

108
00:06:43,700 --> 00:06:44,700
you.

109
00:08:10,220 --> 00:08:11,340
Man, those were the days.

110
00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:14,760
Back when porn was porn.

111
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:21,920
Man, that woman was sure a sucker dick.

112
00:08:54,579 --> 00:08:55,579
Stay. Relax.

113
00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:00,540
Relax. I'm a doctor.

114
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:03,300
By any chance, have you seen a patient
of mine?

115
00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:09,620
About so tall, mid -twenties, kind of
curly hair, needs to fillate to orgasm?

116
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:12,760
No. Who are you? How did you get in
here?

117
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,320
Well, you see, I'm looking for Linda
Lovelace.

118
00:09:16,660 --> 00:09:17,660
She's my patient.

119
00:09:17,780 --> 00:09:22,060
A very interesting patient, you see. Her
clitoris is located in her throat.

120
00:09:22,650 --> 00:09:24,690
Not above her vagina, but deep in her
throat.

121
00:09:25,330 --> 00:09:28,610
The only way that she can come, if you
will, is through oral intercourse.

122
00:09:29,270 --> 00:09:32,230
It's through a new technique I've
devised called deep throat.

123
00:09:34,850 --> 00:09:36,790
As ridiculous as it was in the movie.

124
00:09:38,050 --> 00:09:39,050
I get it.

125
00:09:39,650 --> 00:09:40,650
I get it.

126
00:09:41,030 --> 00:09:42,390
Mess with the new guy.

127
00:09:42,810 --> 00:09:44,970
Let's dress up like dead porn stars.

128
00:09:46,250 --> 00:09:48,330
And we'll just give him a scare, right?

129
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:51,520
Right? Come on out, Mr. McGee. You got
me.

130
00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:53,060
You got me.

131
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:55,400
Come on.

132
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:59,540
Well, I can assure you, my friend, I'm
just as real as you.

133
00:10:00,180 --> 00:10:02,580
You see, this is a space -time continuum
you've entered.

134
00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:05,880
The sex museum sits on a fulcrum between
the past and the present.

135
00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:10,700
Spirits are able to go back and forth
through the power of libido and sex

136
00:10:10,700 --> 00:10:13,940
and transmit directly to this precise
coordinate.

137
00:10:14,860 --> 00:10:17,020
It makes as little sense as it did in
the movie.

138
00:10:23,370 --> 00:10:24,370
You get out of here now.

139
00:10:25,990 --> 00:10:29,790
Have Mr. McGee show himself, or I'm
calling the cops.

140
00:10:30,070 --> 00:10:31,310
Why are you calling the cops?

141
00:10:31,670 --> 00:10:33,230
This is an obscenity charge.

142
00:10:34,770 --> 00:10:35,770
You're dead.

143
00:10:35,990 --> 00:10:40,050
I can't come from my pussy. It doesn't
mean I'm dead.

144
00:10:40,510 --> 00:10:41,770
Linda, you're back.

145
00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:44,610
Please excuse us. She's on the clock.

146
00:10:45,210 --> 00:10:46,210
What clock?

147
00:10:46,390 --> 00:10:48,130
I thought we were in a space -time
continuum.

148
00:10:48,890 --> 00:10:49,890
Larry, please.

149
00:10:49,930 --> 00:10:50,930
I'm with a patient.

150
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:53,660
And I need to perfect this new medical
technique of mine.

151
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:59,900
Now, Ms. Lovelace, let's begin the
physical examination and see if we can't

152
00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:03,060
figure out why you can't hear those
rockets and bombs going off, okay?

153
00:11:16,580 --> 00:11:17,600
Well, that's amazing.

154
00:11:18,140 --> 00:11:19,540
We seem to be missing something.

155
00:11:20,810 --> 00:11:21,970
Well, I'm a girl, Doctor.

156
00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:23,290
We don't have to.

157
00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:26,450
No, no, no, no, Miss Lovelace. I know
you're a girl.

158
00:11:26,790 --> 00:11:28,010
You don't have a clitoris.

159
00:11:29,250 --> 00:11:30,390
You know, the tingle maker.

160
00:11:31,490 --> 00:11:33,730
What? You've got to be kidding me.

161
00:11:34,270 --> 00:11:35,930
Well, look for yourself.

162
00:11:37,090 --> 00:11:38,090
No man in a boat.

163
00:11:38,850 --> 00:11:40,230
Well, I'll be fucked.

164
00:11:40,670 --> 00:11:43,250
I don't have a clit. What do I do?

165
00:11:45,010 --> 00:11:46,030
No, no, no.

166
00:11:46,230 --> 00:11:47,230
Miss Lovelace.

167
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:51,940
You told me before, when you get laid,
you feel a tingle in your throat.

168
00:11:52,220 --> 00:11:54,620
Well, yeah, doctor, right here. I feel
it right here.

169
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,420
Okay, well, open your mouth for me.

170
00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:06,980
Absolutely extraordinary.

171
00:12:07,740 --> 00:12:09,780
That little bugger. There it is.

172
00:12:10,060 --> 00:12:11,320
I found your clit.

173
00:12:11,780 --> 00:12:12,780
It's in your throat.

174
00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:13,940
Deep in your throat.

175
00:12:17,290 --> 00:12:18,830
Have you ever heard the term deep
throat?

176
00:12:19,470 --> 00:12:20,469
Deep who?

177
00:12:20,470 --> 00:12:22,130
Not deep who. Deep throat.

178
00:12:22,730 --> 00:12:24,310
It's a new technique I've been
developing.

179
00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:28,170
It's when you swallow a penis until it's
all the way down your throat. Hence the

180
00:12:28,170 --> 00:12:29,170
term deep throat.

181
00:12:29,590 --> 00:12:30,810
Well, how do I do that?

182
00:12:31,210 --> 00:12:32,210
Well, I'll choke.

183
00:12:33,010 --> 00:12:37,730
Well, if you ever want to hear those
fireworks, bombs, and whistles going

184
00:12:37,870 --> 00:12:41,490
you're going to want to work that
clitoris. It'll be fun. Just relax your

185
00:12:41,490 --> 00:12:44,510
muscles, breathe yoga style, and think
deep thoughts.

186
00:12:45,420 --> 00:12:47,180
You make it sound so simple.

187
00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:48,920
Try it. You'll like it.

188
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:52,720
Now, why don't you scoot off that couch
and let's give it a whirl.

189
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:21,640
There you go, you're getting it.

190
00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:41,560
Very well done.

191
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:43,320
Wow.

192
00:13:43,820 --> 00:13:46,520
She really, really can suck a cock.

193
00:14:03,940 --> 00:14:05,240
Huh.

194
00:14:10,380 --> 00:14:17,000
Baby, don't you know the answer is right
there.

195
00:14:19,410 --> 00:14:21,050
70s porn music. Of course.

196
00:14:21,410 --> 00:14:23,250
Why not? I'm in a sex museum.

197
00:14:23,550 --> 00:14:24,970
You could get anywhere.

198
00:14:31,350 --> 00:14:36,770
Very well done.

199
00:15:27,980 --> 00:15:28,980
That's lovely.

200
00:16:04,310 --> 00:16:05,310
Thank you.

201
00:17:19,470 --> 00:17:21,210
so the technique is successful.

202
00:17:22,950 --> 00:17:25,450
Doctor, is there anything I can assist
you with?

203
00:17:25,930 --> 00:17:27,069
Why, yes. Yes, there is.

204
00:17:28,170 --> 00:17:29,630
Miss Lovelace, please.

205
00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:32,270
Take this one with you and continue
practicing.

206
00:17:32,570 --> 00:17:35,230
Oh, Doctor, I can't thank you enough.

207
00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:37,590
I'm sure you will in the future.

208
00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:42,770
That's for you.

209
00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:47,170
Maybe you can also help me work on this
technique.

210
00:17:47,850 --> 00:17:48,850
I think I can.

211
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:53,680
Don't forget about my book.

212
00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:15,220
I think I'm going to die.

213
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,720
Yes, yes. There's my couple.

214
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:03,000
Oh, yeah.

215
00:20:26,549 --> 00:20:30,070
Perhaps other holes of yours for further
examination?

216
00:20:30,450 --> 00:20:31,450
I think they work.

217
00:22:21,529 --> 00:22:22,370
Oh my

218
00:22:22,370 --> 00:22:29,230
god.

219
00:22:32,810 --> 00:22:34,190
I'll plant you over up here.

220
00:22:34,470 --> 00:22:35,470
Doctor's orders.

221
00:23:57,610 --> 00:23:58,610
Love your food, Ruth.

222
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,120
Fuck, it's so deep.

223
00:24:55,700 --> 00:24:57,600
Oh my God, it's so deep.

224
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:28,400
Oh!

225
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:30,680
Oh, God.

226
00:27:23,870 --> 00:27:25,910
Yes! Yes!

227
00:28:48,699 --> 00:28:51,160
Is there anything else I can do for you
doctor?

228
00:28:52,629 --> 00:28:53,710
That'll be all for now.

229
00:28:56,790 --> 00:28:57,790
Hey, Linda.